Everlasting Gobstoppers

by Boffo Yux Dudes

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about

More music under the BYD and Pop Machine bands for 'A Songwriting Cycle #2 & #3' and 'Nur Ein 2011, 2012, and 2013' song competitions.

credits

released May 13, 2011

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about

Boffo Yux Dudes Boston

Old guys who should know better. The ones your parents warned you about. Allan Morgan and Tom Giarrosso head this version of BYD with Scott Mercer, using rabid optimism that they'll be remembered for more than just all those replays on Dr. Demento.

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Track Name: Upside Down
The stars were our symphony
Together floating we were free
But there’s a new first mate now on your bridge
Heard it on your radio, you see
I used to have your frequency
Now I’m colder than the meatloaf in your fridge

Your upside has got me down

My head is spinning round and round
My heart is sinking under your gravity
(Beat) You leave me devoid of breath
I’m drifting closer to my death
Don’t know which way I’ll go to be free

There are no directions in space
But everywhere I see your face
When listening to the silence I hear you talk
I’m going mad trapped in this ship
I can’t get a clue so I’ll get a grip
I think I’ll go outside and take a walk

Your upside has got me down
My head is spinning round and round
I’m like a watch where all the gears have sprung
I miss your voice I miss your touch
I miss your smile oh, so much
But I especially miss that thing you do with your tongue

Upside Down You Vex
Why do you drive me insane?
Vertigo is here.

Upside Down I Cry
Who will save me from my fate?
My voice is alone.

Upside Down is here
Orientation is where?
No One Hears Me Scream.

Upside Down inside
Outer Space is very cruel
The Capsule is cold

Upside Down Outside
The hatch is stuck - Not for Long
Air Slowly Leaves me

Upside down out there
I wonder if it's friendly
The view is awesome

Your upside has got me down
My head is spinning round and round
And now the air is hissing out my suit
Before dementia takes me away
There’s one important thing I must say
(slurs) Toenail doorknob semen who’s a pretty bird? Hahahahahaha....
Track Name: First Blood (Autotrophia)
First Blood by The Boffo Yux Dudes

Well, the feeling is right 
 

And when I’m ready I can go all night 
 

All I need is the sun 
 
I got food and love for everyone


Chorus: 
 

I’m my own autotrophic love 
 

Inorganic compounds fit me like a glove 
 

Make my own sweet love like this 
 

It’s like photosynthesis 
 

I can do it by myself if push comes to shove 
 
 


Its tough when your brood  
 

can become one of you 
 

Your Dad and Your Mom  
 

are your Brother and Sister too.
 
  

It's all due to Autotrophic love
All I need is starch and lipids, and that’s enough
Even though I’m hard to see
There’s no fungi quite like me
You bet I can’t multiply; I’ll call your bluff!
 
 
Bridge: 
An au·to·troph is an organism capable of synthesizing its own food from inorganic substances, using light or chemical energy. Green plants, algae, and certain bacteria are autotrophs. 

I gotta be me. I gotta be... I'm... I'm the only thing I am. I'm just me - so Me and Me and I

All I need is myself 
 

The stuff around me is my source of wealth 
 

Don’t need a mate to divide 
 
‘
Cause all the love I need I have inside 
 
 


Chorus: 
 
I’m my own autotrophic love 
 

Inorganic compounds fit me like a glove 
 

Make my own sweet love like this 
 

It’s like photosynthesis 
 

I can do it by myself if push comes to shove 

I, myself, and me and me and someone else, maybe I. 
Hmm.. I think  I've Got a Band...
Track Name: First Blood
First Blood

The generalization of the optimum demodulator
Interjected to the case of M-ary orthogonal signals
Is straightforward.

If the equal energy and equally probable
signal waveforms are represented as
SMT of the real SLMT times e
to the j2 pi frequency of t

Frequency of t
Frequency of t

Well, SLMT of the equivalent
low pass signals
of the optimum correlation type
or matched filter type
demodulator produces the m-complex
random variables

I said the random variables

RM plus RLT plus jRMS
(where RLT is the equivalent low-pass received signal)

The low-pass received signal!

then the optimum detector based on random uniformly distributed carrier phase
computes the m-envelopes
or, equivalently the squared envelopes
and selects the signal with the largest envelope.

Envelope!
Track Name: The Ballad of Sir Coulover Roderick Blinde
The Ballad of Sir Coulover Roderick Blinde

There are none so blind as those who won’t see
The beauty of the forest for the leaves on the trees
The odor of the camenbert over the stink of the brie
Stinky yellow brie

There once was a lad born late in the day
He was Blinde like the rest and his mother did say
When you become a man you must find your own way
Find your own way

So young Coulover did set out from his safe family home
To the city of London he finally did roam
To seek out his fortune in the city of stone
Cold gray stone

Oh, Mother! Oh, Father!
Oh, Sister! Oh, Brother!

And then one day he met a girl
She took him on a trip around the world
And when she got his flag unfurled
He gave her his pearls

But she sighed sadly and said “Though I love you,
I’m promised to another and cannot be true.”
He knew because he was poor he would always be blue
Tangled up in blue

And then he met a man who seemed quite nice
He said “I can make your dreams come true for a small price
Just sign on the line and don’t think twice”
Don’t think twice

His love cried to him “Fool, did you not know?
That man is the devil and he bought your soul!
You traded my pure love for a heart of coal!
Sooty black coal!”

Oh, Mother! Oh, Father!
Oh, Sister! Oh, Brother!

Now poor Coulo R. Blind resides in Hell
He has learned his lesson painfully well
As he peeps through the blinds of his prison cell
Forever doomed to watch his lovely belle
He can see but cannot taste, touch or smell
Her lovely form and he must dwell
On what he lost and what you can’t sell
He tried to fly but finally fell...

ColourBlind
ColourBlind
Somehow we are all...
Colourblind.

ColourBlind
Poor ColourBlind
Somehow we are all...
Colourblind.

Thus ends the story of Sir Coulover Roderick Blinde
Track Name: Colourblind
Am I seein red?
I orange so sure

Am I seein red?
I orange so sure

The color's mixed up
and I'm getting bluer

Am i seein Green?
I orange so sure

Am I seein Green?
I orange so sure

The Colors Mixed up,
and I'm getting bluer

yeah
I went down to that DMV.
Had to get my license renewed.
Man said I got 20/20 but I can't see straight.
I don't know what to do
I gotta get the license, but they pull it on you
Don't know how I'm gonna drive cause…
The stoplights are all upside down.

I got those colorblind blues.
Track Name: Breaking The Ice
I'm in love with a girl
Oh, my head's in whirl
I see rainbows, unicorns when she walks in the door!
But she won't say my name
It's really such a shame
To have psychiatrists wrestle me to the floor...

I TRIED TO BREAK THE ICE!!
I TOLD HER HER SHOES WERE NICE!!
THE COLOR COMPLEMENTS HER EYES!!
BUT SHE JUST RAN AWAY!!

I WANT TO MEET SOMEONE
WHO IS PRETTY, KIND AND KINDA FUN
PERHAPS YOU WILL BE THE ONE
BUT SHE JUST RAN AWAY

I THOUGHT WE JUST HIT IT OFF
OOPS I DID GAS AND THEN SHE COUGHED
I TRIED TO DO MY FUNNY LAUGH
AND SHE JUST RAN AWAY

IS IT SOMETHING STUCK INSIDE MY CRAW??
WAS IT THE GRINDING OF MY JAW??
WAS IT SOME OTHER UNKNOWN FLAW??
WHAT'S WRONG WITH GIRLS TODAY???

She works at a wonderful place
I'd love to watch her face
As I work there too so I tried to get a job
But they didn't want me
Gosh, can't they all see?
I'm much better since I was a hitman for the mob...

I THINK I'D BE GREAT AT THIS JOB!!
I'M GOOD WITH CLIENTS, DOGS AND MOBS!!
AND EVEN ANTISOCIAL SNOBS!!
SO HIRE ME RIGHT NOW!!!!

I'M EXCELLENT HERE ON THE PHONE
I HAVE A VERY PLEASANT TONE
I WORK IN GROUPS OR JUST ALONE
SO HIRE ME RIGHT NOW!!!

YOU CAN SAY I'M GOOD AT WORK
I WAS HERE AS A SHIPPING CLERK
UNTIL THAT JERK GAVE ME A SMIRK
SO HIRE ME RIGHT NOW

I'M THE ANSWER TO YOUR PRAYERS!!
I SOLVE PROBLEMS - I FIX STAIRS!!
YOU'RE PRESSING A RED BUTTON THERE??
PLEASE DON'T DRAG ME OFF BY MY HAIR!!

So now I'm all alone
I tried driving home
I guess 120 miles per hour is too fast
Those nice police stopped me
I smiled for them to see
Then I used my Tae Kwon Do to put them all in casts

HERE'S MY LICENSE AND REGISTRATION!!
DO YOU NEED MORE INFORMATION??
I FULFILLED THE TERMS OF MY PROBATION!!
I JUST WANT TO GO HOME

YES YOUR NECK IS PRETTY THICK
WHY DID YOU PULL OUT YOUR NIGHT STICK
I DIDN'T CALL YOU A BIG DICK
I JUST WANT TO GO HOME

WHY DO YOU LOOK AT ME SO MAD
YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY NOT SO SAD
IT'S NOT LIKE I TOLD YOU TO BLOW YOUR DAD
I JUST WANT TO GO HOME

MY HANDS ARE ON THE STEERING WHEEL
AT 9 AND 3 TO MAKE YOU FEEL
RELAXED AND I SEEM MUCH LESS THREATENING
YOU PULLED YOUR GUN MY PANTS I'M WETTENING
Track Name: Architect
Architect
By The Boffo Yux Dudes

An architect by trade I am
But love is in my master plan
I'm obsessed by geometric forms
But I have no one to keep me warm

I’ll sing to you of I.M.Pei
And, no, that doesn’t make me gay
We’ll build a love of wood and bricks
And I’ll show you my erection kit

Like steel towers scraping sky
Your beauty’s pleasing to my eyes
I’ll build you up and bring you thrills
Torque you with my pneumatic drill

Your eyes are gray slate like a roof
Your tongue’s a brick that chipped my tooth
Your face contains an inner glow
Ornamented just like Art Deco

Your passion brings out inner fire
And pierces me with gothic spire
Your clothes, your hair, your hat, your blouse
Reminds me of Sydney's Opera House

Like steel towers scraping sky
Your beauty’s pleasing to my eyes
I’ll build you up and I'll bring you thrills
And Torque you with my pneumatic drill

You see my passion’s really true
The things I love I see in you
You’re so sturdy - your lines so straight
Hedges neatly trimmed around your gate

I’m knocking here upon your door
Please say you’ll love me forevermore
Just let me enter - sing my song
I’ll lay your foundation all night long

Like steel towers scraping sky
Your beauty’s pleasing to my eyes
I’ll build you up and bring you thrills
And Torque you with my pneumatic drill

Like steel towers scraping sky
Your beauty’s pleasing to my eyes
I’ll build you up and bring you thrills
And Torque you with my pneumatic drill
Track Name: The Best Part of Town is the Darkest
The Best Place in Town is Also the Darkest
By The Boffo Yux Dudes

pass the peas
pass the bread
pass me some mayo
pass me some cheese
pass me something . make me gonna sneeze...

Gonna take you to a place
Take you downtown
It's a little tiny place
Where we can fool around

It's cool and dark
But the band is hot
It's the best in town
Gonna hit the spot

We gonna hit that spot baby
uh-huh, uh-huh

Slide it baby....
Now slide in now move a little closer
C'mon baby, get over here
You love it when you're near

Let's get a little funky now
Funky in the dark
Don't say no
Don't say no
Don't say a thing in the dark…

Hit me one time!!
(horn blast)

I love the night
And I love the dark
Won't take you to no museum
Won't take you to no park

The best part of town
Don't got no lights
If you wanna get funky
Don't need to see no sights

Baby, I read you like a book
Printed in Braille
I'm gonna do everything
Prolog
Epilogue
Dialogue
I'll read the sequel
I'll read all Seven volumes
I'll read you in braille until you kill Voldemort


Slide it baby....
Move a little closer
Move a little closer, now

I like it when you're here
When you're oh so near
When you're near, gonna whisper in your ear
Somethin' flatterin' about your rear
Cause I love it when you're here

Hit me two times!!
(Two horn blasts)

Hit me again!!
Dealer voice: That's 22! House wins.
Yee-aiii!!!

Busted. Hah!

The best part of town
is where you are, baby.
I mean you, plus dark, that is the best part of town
and we can get down

The best part of town
Is the darkest part of town
We get down.
I ain't no clown...
Track Name: Blame It on Ginger
Blame it on Ginger by Boffo Yux Dudes

I'm pissed beyond belief. I was so close to relief.
After a dozen ideas and bunch of rough drafts, it was finally coming together.
The lyrics were there but the music was fair and needed some punching - whatever.

The tone was withdrawn and it wasn't that long
with a boy meets girl twist and a slap on the wrist it was finally coming but odder
the ginger ale angle for a sickness finagle was autobiographical fodder -

Now I'm ticked at the box that is covered in red because I've given my life
To the damn thing of silver that glistens in blood just because it just cuts like a knife.

A power supply that decided to fry in a last minute horror of wonders
Has stolen my work- made me look like a jerk as it grabs all my files in plunder.

I blame it. I blame it. I blame it on the box!
I claim it! Rename it! I blame it on the box!

Its nom de plume is Mac G4 although I know it much better.
It's real name is Satan - Bealzabub - Lucifer - anything evil is taken

So the bit about Conan and Geri Halliwell was sent to the either address known as hell. Torturing Gingerbread men was misplaced. He ripped off his legs - he no longer could race.

This leaves me blathering on like a fool. The tracks that were laid down by this Malevolent
tool are now vaporware diapered ghostly remains. The demos and rough drafts are left to abstain.

I blame it on that crimson box. It dwells within an evil pox.
There will be no more time for tea. It vexes now both you and me.

I will recover. It shall not win. This bastard child of electric sin.
But the time is now escape. It is to late for this make.

I blame it on ginger. You Bastard!
Track Name: Fill In The Blanks (All In)
Fill In The Blanks

V1:
My ... works for the CIA
She redacts my ... every day
She so secretive, it drives me ...
She's got me ... my pants just like a child

Chorus:
I love my baby, she's a piece of ...
A really great ... and she's total class,
I like to ... her ... whenever we're alone
And she always ... my ... when we're on the phone

V2:
Our love's so ..., it's classified
I love it when she ... me deep inside
She's got a ... she uses on my ...
And an electric ... shaped like a totem

V3:
It's hard to tell when ... comes and goes
When I have her around I like to suck on her ...
If she ever leaves ... might never know
But until she does I'm gonna ... her ...
Track Name: When The Time Comes
When the Time comes
it comes for us all
Whether you worked to the bone
Or just had a ball
When the time comes
You don't have a choice
You drive out in a hearse
Not in a Rolls Royce.

Chorus:
So when my time comes I want you to blow me off the map
Load me up with dynamite and lots of blasting caps
I want a Viking Funeral for the 21st Century
Spread my atoms through the air from sea to shining sea

I waited for my train
But it never arrived
And then Mr. Grim Reaper
He took me aside
He stared at me coldly
and he told me to pack
for that last, long, lonely trip
Let’s hit the road, Jack

Chorus:
So when my time comes I want you to shoot me full of holes
Or throw me in a pen with loads of rabid, angry voles
If I can’t make a mark before my final breath
At least I’ll make a stain to commemorate my death

Eventually
We all have to go.
There’s limited choices
At the end of the show
You can face it up front,
or you can drown it in gin.
Fight all you want
You can never win.

Chorus:
So when my time comes I want you to shoot me through the sky
Strap me to a rocket so that I can finally fly
And if I sound plain crazy, well, at least you all can see
I ain’t no selfish prick who’ll blow up anyone but me

So when my time comes I want you to blow me off the map
Load me up with dynamite and lots of blasting caps
And if I sound plain crazy, well, at least you all can see
I ain’t no selfish prick who’ll blow up anyone but me
Track Name: Looking Glass
Looking Glass
by Boffo Yux Dudes

Some people wear glasses
Or use a microscope
To see what they want
Just to give ‘em some hope

I put on my beer goggles
One bottle at a time
It changes my vision
Till everything looks fine

Chorus:
They say she's no looker
Well, normally, I'd pass
But I've been here drinkin'
I'm at critical mass

Now I see things diff'rent
And I don't wanna be crass
But I found my true love
At the bottom ...of a looking glass

Now she limps on over
And sits down next to me
Her extreme halitosis
Nearly knocks me off my seat

Well, it might be the warts
Or the hair on her chin
But there’s something about her
That causes me to grin

They say she's no looker
Well, normally, I'd pass
But I've been here drinkin'
I'm at critical mass

Now I see things diff'rent
And I don't wanna be crass
But I found my true love
At the bottom ...of a looking glass

She looks like my ex-wife
(Or is that the drink?)
Who left me so lonely
I can’t hardly think

When I’m in this state
They all look like my Sue
Let me please bring her back
Just an hour or two

They say she's no looker
Well, normally, I'd pass
But I've been here drinkin'
I'm at critical mass

Now I see things diff'rent
And I don't wanna be crass
But I found my true love
At the bottom ...of a looking glass
Track Name: I Don't Want An Answer To That
I Don't Want An Answer To That
by Boffo Yux Dudes


I’ve been here for years - after all this time
You stare at me with daggers covered in slime
I say I’m happy to be here, you know that I’m lying
I can force a grin but inside my heart is dying

Did you think I’m clever, or funny at all?
Maybe you thought I was a little too small?
Am I full of unmitigated gall? I guess...
I don’t want an answer to that.

Pretend everyone’s happy; it’s your little game
You twist your knives to hurt us and call it a shame
Are you happy to be here? You think I’m the same? Well....
I don’t want an answer to that.

It’s your party, so you can lie if you want to
At least acknowledge the crap that you put me through
I know that you slag me when you get the chance
Don’t pretend you really mean it when you ask me to dance

Did you think I’m clever, or funny at all?
Maybe you thought I was a little too small?
Am I full of unmitigated gall? I guess...
I don’t want an answer to that.

Pretend everyone’s happy; it’s your little game
You twist your knives to hurt us and call it a shame
Are you happy to be here? You think I’m the same? Well....
I don’t want an answer to that.

I couldn’t figure out just why you kept me around
Did you enjoy making me beg? Did you just like the sound?
You’ll excuse me as I turn and walk out the door
I don’t think you’ll even notice while you’re holding the floor.

Did you think I’m clever, or funny at all?
Maybe you thought I was a little too small?
Am I full of unmitigated gall? I guess...
I don’t want an answer to that.

Pretend everyone’s happy; it’s your little game
You twist your knives to hurt us and call it a shame
Are you happy to be here? You think I’m the same? Well....
I don’t want an answer to that.
Track Name: All Hail the Snake
All Hail The Snake
Boffo Yux Dudes - with Momma Morgan

He's the baddest mofo in New New York
He don't mess around, he gets down to work
Pray to God he don't pop his cork
All Hail the Snake

When the world's a prison, he's still around
He'll get you to safety and party down
Puts the bad guys six feet underground
All Hail the Snake

All Hail the Snake
All Hail the Snake
Got 24, don't get no more
All Hail the Snake

Fight the Duke, going hand-to-hand
Pliskin always gets his man
And the President lends a helping hand
All Hail the snake

He's the baddest mofo in New New York
He don't mess around, he gets down to work
Pray to God he don't pop his cork
All Hail the Snake

All Hail the Snake
All Hail the Snake
24, don't get no more
All Hail the Snake
Track Name: Time To Panic (Billy's Little Trip cover)
This is our 2014 Original Flava cover for Billy's Little Trip
His original song is here http://nurein.songfight.net/nureinv/ttp/blt_ttp.mp3


My heart is pounding right out of my chest
Got a cotton mouth and my palms are wet
I can't fight this feeling anymore
I gotta get out of here, I really need my space
Gonna go out lookin' for my happy place
I can't fight this feeling anymore

I can control it when I start to panic
I can control it because I've got strong will

Then I saw you there laying in the sand
With your Oakley shades and a book in your hand
I can't fight this feeling anymore
You make me nervous in the very best way
Your smile just makes me want to play
I can't fight this feeling anymore

I can control it when I start to panic
I can control it because I've got strong will

You pull me in with a slow motion spin
Then we fool around until we fall to the ground
Your sweat beads up on your skin
Just like diamonds, clear and cool
I want to lick up all your honey dew

My heart is pounding right out of my chest
Got a cotton mouth and my palms are wet
I can't fight this feeling anymore
Then I saw you there with your Oakley shades
You make me nervous in the very best way
I can't fight this feeling anymore

I can control it when I start to panic
I can control it because I've got strong will
I can control it when I start to panic
I can control it because I've got strong will

1, 2, 3, 4