SpinTunes Contest Songs

by Boffo Yux Dudes

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    Songs Al and I have created for the SpinTunes song contest. Think 'Iron Chef' for songwriters to have bragging rights over the internets. Fun times for all.

    Catch up on the latest round at
    http://spintunes.blogspot.com/

    If you like our songs, please subscribe to our Twitter http://twitter.com/BoffoYuxDudes

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    Immediate download of 13-track album in your choice of 320k mp3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire.
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(free) 03:25
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(free) 03:12
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(free) 02:02
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(free) 02:30
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(free) 01:58
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about

Shadow songs from SpinTunes Song Writing contests 2010 - 13

credits

released August 10, 2010

Music and knob twiddling - Allan Morgan
Pithy Comments and occasional screeching - Tom Giarrosso

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Boffo Yux Dudes Boston

Old guys who should know better. The ones your parents warned you about. Allan Morgan and Tom Giarrosso head this version of BYD with Scott Mercer, using rabid optimism that they'll be remembered for more than just all those replays on Dr. Demento.

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Track Name: The Ballad of Henry Pym
Lemme tell you the story of a tiny man
Fightin’ crime the best he can
Good old Hank Pym was a scientist
Doin’ research and checkin’ stuff off his list

He cooked up a powerful new gas
And when the smoke and noise had passed
He woke up shrunken on the floor
He knew he was now something more

He was the Ant-man, he’s the incredible Ant-man
He shrinks to microscopic size
Can’t fight much crime, Lord knows he tries

He’s not strong like the Hulk or Superman
But he’s got lots of tiny friends
The ants upon whom he depends

Built a helmet to communicate
With his six-legged pals so he won’t be late
In kickin’ butt and fighting crime
All powered by his Pym Enzyme

Some Egghead tried to take him down
But Henry took out that dumb clown
Then he met a girl who stung his heart
She crawled under his skin from the start

He is the Giant-man, he’s the extraordinary Giant-man
He grows to such amazing heights
But still looks goofy in his tights

He’s not cool like Dr. Strange or Iron Man
Sometimes when he cannot hack it
He’ll turn into a YellowJacket

Ant-man and the Wasp, they’re quite a team
But Henry lacked a certain self-esteem
He tried to grow, to steal the show
A Goliath among men, you know

But when he had a larger figure
It wasn’t just his head that got bigger
His ego grew to mammoth size
And we all know that’s none too wise

He's Giant Man - Overcompensating Giant Man
He grows to Megolithic size
Crackin’ the bad guys with his thighs.

He's not funny like Howard the Duck or Forbush Man
His brain is losin' all compunction
Right from wrong just will not function

Built a robot who was really bad
Just so he could be a Dad
His Avenger Pals are all so cross
because his moral compass' lost

He’s dicked around for 40 years
And cause his pals nothing but tears
Just hang it up –it’s been too long
You’ve even got a lousy theme song

He is the Ant Man - He's The Pathetic Ant Man
Hey, pal, you should just get a life
What superhero beats his wife?

He's not psychotic like Elektra or Wolverine
But he’s still got his tiny friends
The ants upon whom he depends

Ant Man - He's just Pathetic Ant Man
Track Name: How Low Will You Go?
How Low Will You Go?
How Low Will You Go?
Get Your Butt on the Flo...
How Low Will You Go?

How Low Will You Go?
How Low Will You Go?
Get Your Butt on the Flo...
How Low Will You Go?

Hey.. did I see Nancy Out there? Nancy Greely? I mean, now it's Nancy Wilson.
Congratulations to you and Chuck getting married. I remember like it was just yesterday in High School when we went out. And you dumped me.

How Low Will You Go?
How Low Will You Go?
I Slept with the Ho.
How Low Will You Go?

How Low Will You Go?
How Low Will You Go?
Trashed my Camer-o
How Low Will You Go?

Nancy - you probably don't remember me or the times we had. But I do.
The Beach. The Clubs. The Stripper Pole. In Fact, I had a slideshow made up.
You take some great candid photos when you've had a few in you.
Did you know that?

Here's Nancy Wilson like you've never seen her before!
Watch her balance on the high wire!
Not everyone can wear a thong like that, Nancy.
Remember folks. It's not nice to call Nancy a Whore. Even if she is one.

How Low Did She Go?
How Low Did She Go?
Let's Check out the Show!
How Low Did She Go?

How Low Did She Go?
How Low Did She Go?
Let's Check out the Show!
How Low Did She Go?

Nancy - You are such a heavy sleeper when you drink - Here's a great shot of your you sprawled on the floor. You'd think you would wear more clothes than that, since it was a public lavatory. I do think that's your best cheek by the way.

How Low Will I go?
How Low Will I go?
I've called her a Ho
How Low Will I go?

How Low Will I go?
How Low Will I go?
Get your sisters to Blow?
How Low Will I go?

How Low Will I go?
How Low Will I go?
Let's watch the Vid-E-O
How Low Will I go?

Yeah, that's right, Nancy. I did your sisters Mary and Brandy - at the same time. While you were sleeping off on that post colitial 5th of Jack you had earlier. Should I mention we did it in the same room….
Jack was his name, right? But wait… you married Charlie this afternoon!
I guess Charlie's bride got hi-jacked! Or maybe he just Jacked you up in your drunkified state? It wouldn't be the first time...
Anyway Nancy - I made copies of this video and posted it to all your friends on Facebook and YouTube. No Need to thank me. Consider it a wedding present for you on your happiest of days. Bitch.
Track Name: For The Birds
We only do it for the birds
They're different in every town
We only do it for the birds
Guitars and accents bring them down

We’re just an all-American band
We’re just doin’ what we can
It may sound kinda funny
But we’re not in it for the money

We're all looking for that special girl
In every country all around the world
We're on our way and we won't stop
Cause we can romance till we drop!

We only do it for the birds
They're different in every town
We only do it for the birds
Guitars and accents bring them down

In india we had a ball
Swinging with the rajas at the Taj Mahal
We never knew the ladies could feel so good
When we let them Bolly with our Wood.

So many women, So little time.
So many ways to make a rhyme
It's hard not to raise our voices
When we have half a billion choices

We only do it for the birds
They're different in every town
We only do it for the birds
Guitars and accents bring them down

For the orient we had a yen
And even though it wasn’t zen
We hopped a plane and headed east
To the rising sun for a geisha feast

To Paris we say Oo-la-la
For mademoiselles without ze bras
The girls sent from heaven above
Speaking the international language - D'amour

You like the Yux Dudes? Oui?
Perhaps you would like to see my Boffo?

We only do it for the birds
They're different in every town
We only do it for the birds
Guitars and accents bring them down

We only do it for the birds
They're different in every town
We only do it for the birds
Guitars and accents bring them down
Track Name: It's My Hometown, Syracuse, Baby!
The people in town are all a buzzing
6 inches of snow is just a dusting
Walking by the side of the Erie Canal

But I'm still missing the place
Where we first had that embrace
It's got less sun than any other locale

Syracuse baby, It's my town
(been away so long, I need a coney dog)

There's plenty of things to do when you're feeling down
(Check out the leaves in fall, then you can hit the mall)

Don't eat your coneys at Heid's with a knife and a fork
It's the best large town in mid-central New York

Jamesville Beach- Balloons in the air
Varsity Wings and pitchers of beer
When you're in the mood, you gotta regatta

There are concentrations total
Cheering for the coxswain's yodel
Down the length of the brackish Onondaga

Syracuse, honey, I want to spend some time
(Belgian Waffle Fight - Eggplant up all night)

To remember the time when we both said you are mine
(You're on the wall it's true - at Dino BBQ)

That upside-down street light is really groovin'
Green's at the Tipp top, baby..., let's get movin'!

The music in town ain't no snooze
U2, the Police - intimate debuts
Then they played at the Dome, and made the place Rock

Harry Chapin at the landmark was more a treat.
His Benny concert had us on our feet
That old Krusty Cabbie had lines 'round the block

Syracuse, honey, has a place in my heart
('Bud' Vanderveer, got his start right here)
Like Eddie Flum Num, The Play Lady, Mr. Trolly's cart
(Butter sculpture chair - Pizza Fritte at the Fair)

It's the place I remember when we were young and free
It's my home town - Syracuse baby!
Track Name: Elf Shot the Food
We pillage and plunder and cause such upheaval
When gathering potions and food from those evil
Berzerkers and wizards and skeleton shambles
That walk with a grunt and avoid all gambles

But The Elf Shot the Food
The Elf Shot the Food
The Elf Shot the Food
Someone shot the food

Any why the hell can't we find any exit
the monsters all crowd in, and it only makes it
that much a bother to get through the level
and drop down the hole as we all start to revel

But The Elf Shot the Food
The Elf Shot the Food
The Elf Shot the Food
Someone shot the food

But The Elf Shot the Food
The Elf Shot the Food
The Elf Shot the Food
Someone shot the food

Remember - don't shoot food

We pillage and plunder and cause such upheaval
When gathering potions and food from those evil
Berzerkers and wizards and skeleton shambles
That walk with a grunt and avoid all gambles

But The Elf Shot the Food
The Elf Shot the Food
The Elf Shot the Food
Someone shot the food

But The Elf Shot the Food
The Elf Shot the Food
The Elf Shot the Food
Someone shot the food

Valkyrie - your life force is running out…
Track Name: Floating Away
Floating Away

They're coming again
Just when I thought I had It made
I thought I got them all.
There was nothing on my display

I can't fight anymore
But it's what I must do
How much more can I take?
How much more can I do?

They can crush my tiny ship
Like they've already crushed my soul
I don't' want to break them down
I just feel like letting go

Floating Away
Forever and ever and ever and ever
Floating Away
Forever and ever and ever and ever

There coming again
and I feel me start to go
just one wrong shot and I
won't have to break them any more

Floating Away
Forever and ever and ever and ever
Floating Away
Forever and ever and ever and ever
Track Name: One Level Down
5 waves of 11 fill the sky
I know our invasion is do or die
I may be destroyed in the vacuum of space
But know that another will take my place

Chorus:

One Level Down
One Level Down
Follow my brothers all the way
to the ground

You will submit to the hive mind
Or perish like the others of your kind
Your puny weapons will do you no good
We’ll grind you up to make our food

One Level Down
One Level Down
Follow my brothers all the way
to the ground

Your dreams of freedom won’t keep you warm
When you’re overrun by the mass of our swarm
5 waves of 11 fill the sky
I know our invasion is do or die

One Level Down
One Level Down
Follow my brothers all the way
to the ground

One Level Down
One Level Down
Track Name: Dancin' to the Nightlight
The night falls when and I go to bed.
The shadows fill my soul with dread

Soon I extinguish my bedside light
the nightlight goes on, and soon begins my fright.

Out they come in 2s and 3s,
and God won't hear my silent pleas
to make the monsters go away
All I can do is watch and wait and pray…

Party Party Party Party Party Party Party Party
Party Party Party Party Party Party Party Party
Dancin to the nightlight. It's so fun to do
Dancin to the nightlight. I walked into a grue
Party Party Party Party Party Party Party Party

It all drives me so crazy - the sound making my thinking hazy,
it drives me just insane
They're very insistent, always consistent, and I'm resistant,
but I can't escape the throbbing, the throbbing in my brain ……..

Party Party Party Party Party Party Party Party
Dancin to the nightlight. We know it's not right!
Dancin to the nightlight. We can go all night!
Party Party Party Party Party Party Party Party


I wish they'd go away. I widh they'd leave but still they stay.
I turn out the light - but there's still the fright, and repeat the things they say.......

I'm still scared, but that looks like it's fun.
There's 9 glowing monsters and 3 on the run
I'll be in big trouble, if I stay awake
But who can sleep when all the walls shake?

Who can sleep when all the walls shake?

(Uptempo)
Party Party Party Party Party Party Party Party
Party Party Party Party Party Party Party Party

Door open… Billy ! I told you to get to sleep!
Sorry dad.
Track Name: A Letter To Bernie
Bernie, man I love ya but you gotta help me out
I'm stuck behind these prison walls just like a reg'lar lout
'Course, you know I love you, buddy, you're a paragon of class
But my true love's shooting arrows into somebody's chapped ass

They say "Hey, Cupid, pull back that bow"
But what do all those idiots know?
I'm bringing you all love, but inattention is my flaw
'Cause all those freakin' arrows got me collared by the law

I just love shooting my arrows into arms, butts, necks and face
But now I'm on the news and villified by Nancy Grace
The folks I put together hate me, say I give them all the creeps
And now I'm stuck inside this cell, hands covering my cheeks

They say see Cupid, everyone they start to flee
They scream and double over - Took an Arrow To the Knee.
I'm bringing you all my love, but inattention is my flaw
'Cause all those freakin' arrows got me collared by the law


I don't get it. Why is everyone making such a big deal bout this. Hey buddy - watch it! I got my eye on you! You too! You know - you could lose a little weigh. You know, I think you two might look good together. But I'm not videoing it.

So, Bernie, pal, please help me, know that you're my only hope
I can't live where I'm so terrified of just dropping the soap
You're the world's best bail bondsman, and Its time to pay the piper
Get me the freak outta here cause I gotta change this diaper!
Track Name: Be My Valentine (Settle For Me)
On this Valentine's day
I send you my love
You're the foot in my sock
I'm the fingers in your glove

You've know I've loved you honey
I can't stand to be alone
So why'd you leave me when you know
That I can tap your phone?

Baby, be my valentine
It's my deepest wish
I don't care who you're loving now
I don't care who you're with

I'll do anything for you
I'm the one you need
Treat me like a dog, honey
Make me open up and bleed

I know you've got another love
Well, babe, I have one too
She helps me while away the hours
but she's nothing next to you

I know one day you wanted kids
I've already got a set!
'Course I'd dump 'em in a New York Second
If you'd rather just have a pet

Baby, be my valentine
Fulfill my fondest wishes
Just say the word and your current beau
Will be sleeping with the fishes

I'll do anything for you
What else can I say?
For you I'd walk thru broken glass
And gargle with Ben-Gay

Bridge chant:
Settle for me, baby
Settle for me
Settle for me, baby
Settle for me

Well, I tried to set up cameras
in your home and in your car
I followed you around
to the park and to the bar

I sent you gifts and candies
And a piece of my big toe
I'd send you something bigger
But I can't mail a...well, you know...

Baby, be my valentine
It's my deepest wish
I'm the lumps in your gravy
You're the potato in my knish

I'm the varnish in your oatmeal
You're the ring around my fist
And I wish I'd known my schoolboy crush
Would get you so damn pissed

Bridge chant repeat/solo and out:
Settle for me, baby
Settle for me
Settle for me, baby
Settle for me (etc)
Track Name: The Ballad of JJR (with Chris Cogott)
Verse:
Can you help me, brother?
I’ve a tale of woe and strife
My name is Judge John Roberts
And I’m a’feared for my life

There’s a court for which I’m chief
It’s the highest in the land
When they put me here what I just did
Wasn’t ‘zactly what they planned

The Bush boys got me in this chair
And I ain’t Obama’s buddy
But my ruling on our healthcare
Made my future kinda muddy

Chorus:
Oh, brother, won’t you help me
Even though I can’t be fired
It’s only some cold comfort
When I’m on my funeral pyre

Verse:
No man I call my enemy
It’s the people that I serve
But there’s those I’m beholden to
Think I got a lotta nerve

The right think I’ve gone crazy
And left think that I’m right
My friends smile and say “it’s OK”
But they’re itchin’ for a fight

Chorus:
Oh, brother, won’t you help me
Even though I can’t be fired
It’s only some cold comfort
When I’m on my funeral pyre

Verse:
Scalia flew into a rage
And Thomas said “Me, too!"
Alito and Kennedy looked like
They’d like to run me through

My former friends are out for me
‘Cause of the way I’ve acted
I’d better hit the road
Before I find myself redacted

Chorus:
Oh, brother, won’t you help me
Even though I can’t be fired
It’s only some cold comfort
When I’m on my funeral pyre
It’s only some cold comfort
When I’m on my funeral pyre
Track Name: Big, Bigger, Best (with Chris Cogott)
Big Bigger Best
(Cogott-Morgan-Giarrosso)

Do you ever work out?
‘Cause you know I do
I like to Pump It Up
Like gorillas in the zoo

I take all the right shots
I take all the right pills
I make all the right moves
So I give you a thrill

Chorus:
Pump it up, baby; big, bigger, best
My pecs are bulging - I can’t fit in my vest
My biceps are swolen - I can’t swing my arms
That shrivelled nutsack - just part of my charm

I work out eight days a week
Sixty-five weeks a year
I bribe all the right testers
To say my urine is clear

See me on my machines
As I lift, grunt and pull
My ass is rock hard
Bet you can’t find any hole

Chorus:
Pump it up, baby; big, bigger, best
My pecs are bulging - I can’t fit in my vest
The veins in my head are all fit to burst
My heart will give out if my brain doesn’t first

They say I’m doin’ too much
They say I’m outta control
Gotta keep gettin’ bigger
It just gnaws at my soul

So let’s all pump it together
It’s all worth it, you betcha
Pay no heed to the fact
I’m being wheeled out on a stretcher

Chorus:
Pump it up, baby; big, bigger, best
My pecs are bulging - I can’t fit in my vest
My tendons are tight like a violin string
But don’t bother to touch me, ‘cause I can’t feel a thing
Track Name: Latveria, We Bow Before Our Doom
Hail! Hail! Latveria!
Nestled on the Balkan shore
Genius leader plots our destiny
We are Doom forevermore!

From the fields of wheat we harvest
Or the death rays we build with care
Eve'rything we do for his glory
His loving wrath we must beware!

Richards must die
Richards must die
Richards must die
All Hail Doom!

There is nothing that we lack
Save for freedom, food and joy
We happily all serve his will
And the tortures he employs

From the death traps we build in the south
To the warheads of the west
We are instruments of his vengeance
We shall conquer every test!

Richards must die
Richards must die
Poke him in the eye
How tough could it be
To stop a rubber cement guy?
We'll make those four freaks
Break down and cry
All Hail Doom!

Hail Doom!