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Breaking The Ice

from Everlasting Gobstoppers by Boffo Yux Dudes

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about

Round Zero entry for Nur Ein

lyrics

I'm in love with a girl
Oh, my head's in whirl
I see rainbows, unicorns when she walks in the door!
But she won't say my name
It's really such a shame
To have psychiatrists wrestle me to the floor...

I TRIED TO BREAK THE ICE!!
I TOLD HER HER SHOES WERE NICE!!
THE COLOR COMPLEMENTS HER EYES!!
BUT SHE JUST RAN AWAY!!

I WANT TO MEET SOMEONE
WHO IS PRETTY, KIND AND KINDA FUN
PERHAPS YOU WILL BE THE ONE
BUT SHE JUST RAN AWAY

I THOUGHT WE JUST HIT IT OFF
OOPS I DID GAS AND THEN SHE COUGHED
I TRIED TO DO MY FUNNY LAUGH
AND SHE JUST RAN AWAY

IS IT SOMETHING STUCK INSIDE MY CRAW??
WAS IT THE GRINDING OF MY JAW??
WAS IT SOME OTHER UNKNOWN FLAW??
WHAT'S WRONG WITH GIRLS TODAY???

She works at a wonderful place
I'd love to watch her face
As I work there too so I tried to get a job
But they didn't want me
Gosh, can't they all see?
I'm much better since I was a hitman for the mob...

I THINK I'D BE GREAT AT THIS JOB!!
I'M GOOD WITH CLIENTS, DOGS AND MOBS!!
AND EVEN ANTISOCIAL SNOBS!!
SO HIRE ME RIGHT NOW!!!!

I'M EXCELLENT HERE ON THE PHONE
I HAVE A VERY PLEASANT TONE
I WORK IN GROUPS OR JUST ALONE
SO HIRE ME RIGHT NOW!!!

YOU CAN SAY I'M GOOD AT WORK
I WAS HERE AS A SHIPPING CLERK
UNTIL THAT JERK GAVE ME A SMIRK
SO HIRE ME RIGHT NOW

I'M THE ANSWER TO YOUR PRAYERS!!
I SOLVE PROBLEMS - I FIX STAIRS!!
YOU'RE PRESSING A RED BUTTON THERE??
PLEASE DON'T DRAG ME OFF BY MY HAIR!!

So now I'm all alone
I tried driving home
I guess 120 miles per hour is too fast
Those nice police stopped me
I smiled for them to see
Then I used my Tae Kwon Do to put them all in casts

HERE'S MY LICENSE AND REGISTRATION!!
DO YOU NEED MORE INFORMATION??
I FULFILLED THE TERMS OF MY PROBATION!!
I JUST WANT TO GO HOME

YES YOUR NECK IS PRETTY THICK
WHY DID YOU PULL OUT YOUR NIGHT STICK
I DIDN'T CALL YOU A BIG DICK
I JUST WANT TO GO HOME

WHY DO YOU LOOK AT ME SO MAD
YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY NOT SO SAD
IT'S NOT LIKE I TOLD YOU TO BLOW YOUR DAD
I JUST WANT TO GO HOME

MY HANDS ARE ON THE STEERING WHEEL
AT 9 AND 3 TO MAKE YOU FEEL
RELAXED AND I SEEM MUCH LESS THREATENING
YOU PULLED YOUR GUN MY PANTS I'M WETTENING

credits

from Everlasting Gobstoppers, released May 13, 2011

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Boffo Yux Dudes Boston

Old guys who should know better. The ones your parents warned you about. Allan Morgan and Tom Giarrosso head this version of BYD with Scott Mercer and Partick Montello, using rabid optimism that they'll be remembered for more than just all those Elvis Traffic interactives with DJ's around the USA. ... more

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